saboobnah: bird privilege is being able to make loud as fuck noises early in the morning without somebody calling the cops on you
me: makes a mistake
me: thinks about mistake every night for the next 7 years
Psychiatric Advice #12
Patient: I keep having these crazy dreams where I'm swimming in a river next to the Pyramids! What's wrong with me?
Psychiatrist: You're in da Nile.
jesuislegrandefromage: emily-spectre: psilentasincjelli: C a r r y o n m y w a y w a r d s o o o o o o o n T h e r e ’ l l b e p e a c e when y o u a r e d o o n e L a y y o u r w e a r y h e a d t o r e e e e e e s t D o n ’ t y o u c r y n o m o r e FINALLY AN ACCURATE ONE This is probably one of the reasons the rest of the world thinks we...
Dobby has no master! Dobby is a free elf!– Sylvia Plath (via incorrectsylviaplathquotes)
We’ve all been raised on television to believe that one day we’d all be...– Chuck Palahniuk, Fight Club (via dreamsilver)
My hobbies include laying in bed in my underwear while I listen to music and hate myself
ieatgokudera: EYELASHES YOU ARE SUPPOSE TO PREVENT SHIT FROM FALLING IN MY EYE BUT WHEN YOU FALL IN MY EYE THEN WHAT AM I SUPPOSE TO DO YOU WERE MY LAST LINE OF DEFENSE AND YOU BETRAYED ME
whorville: I have bullshitted my way through almost two decades of life
thefrenchshipmutiny: thisis-my-note: flying-inca56: “Tony no” a biography by Pepper Potts “Tony stop” a sequel by Steve Rogers “Goddammit Tony” a prequel by James Rhodes
Women who are too sexual aren’t taken seriously, and women who aren’t sexual...– (via ceedling) If you’re pretty, you’re an object. If you’re ugly, you’re a worthless object. We really really really can’t win. (via thedollydamnllama)
Me: gets nervous a year before a planned event
my suicide note: i'm fat and i can't do math homework
A three-day-old human embryo is a collection of 150 cells called a blastocyst....– Sam Harris, on stem cell research. (via we-are-star-stuff)
me in other people's showers: what the fuck is going on
If you’re a “nice guy” to a girl up until you realize she doesn’t want to date you, then go on about how she’s a cold shrew that friendzoned you and how no girls date nice guys, like, nah mate, girls do date nice guys. You just aren’t a nice guy. You’re a passive aggressive beta with internalized misogyny and a serious victim complex.
Update from Australia: A school boy has been suspended for 15 days due to throwing a vegemite sandwich at prime minister Julia Gillard.
me in 7th grade: unattractive, socially awkward loser.
me now: unattractive, socially awkward loser with good taste in music.
humancentipeed: In the Sims, you don’t say, “I love you.” You say, “Habadu bashubi,” which roughly translates to, “I cannot move because there is furniture in the way.” I think that’s absolutely beautiful.
annathing: ekiaku: hueywasright: noiradoue: You... →
ekiaku: hueywasright: noiradoue: You guys are ridiculous. Why shouldn’t a white person be in the natural hair tag? Because they have a different texture? Shut the fuck up. Just because they haven’t been perming and messing up their natural hair all of their lives and now have to… i didn’t even know anything about this, what. i have done a lot to my hair, dyed it since i was...